By Tim Binnall
A menagerie of miscreants, ne'er-do-wells, crooks, and con artists found themselves in trouble with the law this past year by way of an assortment of truly unusual crimes and capers. Among the many very weird incidents that required police intervention in 2023 were a shooting brought about by a dispute over Hot Pockets, an astounding 1,000 ducks that were scared to death in China, the attempted theft of Vladimir Lenin's mummified body, and the downing of the beloved Sycamore Gap tree in England (seen above). Here is this year's installment of C2C's proverbial police log that we've come to call the Bizarre Blotter:
- Assault: An irate Kentucky man allegedly shot his roommate after he discovered that he had eaten the last of their Hot Pockets. Police in Minnesota arrested a man for bursting into a restaurant and pelting patrons with Skittles.
- Attempted Theft: Cops in Russia busted an intoxicated man who tried to steal the mummified body of USSR founder Vladimir Lenin.
- Breaking & Entering: A would-be burglar in Maine was thwarted by an 87-year-old woman who distracted him with snacks while she phoned police.
- Cruelty to Animals: Cops in Australia arrested a man who snatched a wild platypus from its natural habitat and then took the creature on a shopping trip to the mall. A Chinese man was jailed for scaring over 1,000 of his neighbor's chickens to death. An Indian man allegedly fabricated an albino cobra snake by covering the unfortunate creature with white paint.
- Dangerous Driving: A suspected drunk driver in Oregon switched seats with his dog in the hopes of fooling police into thinking the animal was behind the wheel. Similarly, a Slovakian traffic camera caught a man driving with his dog on his lap.
- Disorderly Conduct: A bizarre brawl erupted between actors dressed as Super Mario and Marvel characters at a Brazilian fair.
- Filing a False Emergency Report: A man lost in the West Virginia woods called 911 with the claim that he was being attacked by a bear so that someone would come and rescue him. A dad who pranked his daughter by faking a home invasion by a clown wound up in trouble with the law when she phoned the police for help.
- Fraud: A man fed up with failing his driving test in Belgium enlisted a friend to impersonate him for the exam. A con artist in India was busted trying to sell a 'magical mermaid eye.'
- Malicious Damage to a Motor Vehicle: A Massachusetts man was arrested for allegedly leaving massive rocks in the middle of the road for unsuspecting cars to hit.
- Murder: A German woman allegedly murdered her doppelganger in a misguided attempt to fake her own death.
- Stowaway: A mysterious Russian man somehow managed to fly from Denmark to Los Angeles without a plane ticket or a passport.
- Swindling: A self-proclaimed fortune teller in Pennsylvania duped a client out of $10,000 in exchange for 'spiritual guidance.' Police in Spain busted a man who allegedly bilked a deeply religious woman out of over $300,000 by calling her phone and pretending to be God. A pastor in India was arrested for an elaborate scheme centered around the sale of a 'magical box.'
- Theft: Among the unusual items stolen in 2023 were statues of Shrek, the Jersey Devil, and an alien as well as nearly 200,000 Cadbury Creme Eggs, props from the set of the Beetlejuice sequel, and a slew of body parts that were allegedly pilfered from a mortuary in Arkansas.
- Trespassing: a British daredevil was taken into custody by South Korean police after he attempted to climb a skyscraper.
- Vandalism: A tourist carved his name into the Roman Colosseum, a visitor to a museum in Florence damaged a 16th-century statue while taking a selfie, a shortcut-seeking duo made a huge hole in the Great Wall of China, and a sinister miscreant in England cut down the iconic and beloved Sycamore Gap tree.