By Tim Binnall
While what might unfold in the world of the paranormal each year is always uncertain, much easier to predict is that there will be an array of incidents involving people misbehaving in unusual ways that rival the weirdest UFO cases or Bigfoot sightings for sheer strangeness and 2024 was no exception. The past twelve months saw all manner of miscreants, ne'er-do-wells, and troublemakers wind up behind bars or make the news for an array of curious capers and cases. To that end, here is this year's installment of C2C's proverbial police log that we've come to call the Bizarre Blotter:
- Abuse of a Corpse: A pair of Ohio women drew comparisons to the classic comedy Weekend at Bernie's when they allegedly brought their dead friend's body to a bank to withdraw money from his account.
- Assault: A Canadian man allegedly attacked police officers with a block of cheese and a fight over Vienna Sausages at a Georgia nursing home led to a squabble and subsequent stabbing between residents.
- Attempted Murder: An online video game dispute led to a New Jersey man flying to Florida and allegedly attempting to kill his rival. In Las Vegas, cops arrested a convenience store worker who told them that he had bludgeoned a customer with a baseball bat after the unfortunate individual disrespected him by putting too much cheese on his nachos.
- Bank Robbery: In Texas, a teenager and two children, aged 11 and 12, were arrested following the jaw-dropping heist of a Houston Wells Fargo.
- Burglary: An accused burglar in Canada was busted after police connected him to the crime by way of his chihuahua, which he happened to bring along on the break-in. Similarly, an alleged pet store burglar in Ohio was apprehended with hamsters in his pants. Still at large is a burglar who was filmed doing yoga before busting into an Australian bakery.
- Cruelty to Animals: A New York State man was arrested for a bewildering 'project' wherein he allegedly spray painted squirrels bright red to determine which of the critters was trespassing on his property. A pair of brothers in Alaska found themselves in hot water with the law after a fight over an anime, of all things, led to them throwing the other's pet reptile out the window into the snow. And a phantom cat shaver menaced two British communities as well as a New Zealand town.
- Disorderly Conduct: Indiana cops arrested a woman who, they say, caused a scene in the parking lot of an Applebee's restaurant following a dispute over the chain's 'All You Can Eat' meal deal.
- DUI: An oddly conscientious and clearly inebriated motorist in England was busted after he called the cops to report himself for drunk driving.
- Insurance Fraud: Authorities in California took down a group of individuals who allegedly conspired to commit insurance fraud by using a bear costume to fake claims that the creature had damaged their cars.
- Property Damage: A Utah teenager who had become something of a viral sensation for taping fish to ATMs was eventually tracked down and caught by police.
- Reckless Use of Fire: A self-described sorceress was arrested for wandering onto a stranger's porch and lighting it on fire after she spotted a sign that said 'Witches Welcome.'
- Smuggling: A customs canine at Boston's Logan Airport uncovered several mummified monkeys surreptitiously en route to the United States. A staggering 87 animals, including an endangered red panda, were saved when they were discovered in the luggage of some troublesome travelers trying to leave Thailand with the creatures in tow.
- Theft: Among the strange and unusual stolen items this year were a bevy of tropical fish from a restaurant in Canada, a driveway from outside a Florida home, a massive taxidermied bear from a Canadian resort, a 200-foot radio tower from an Alabama AM station, a 200-year-old George Washington painting from a Colorado storage unit, a beloved owl in England, the gravestone from a legendary West Virginia burial plot, 17 tubes of Pringles from a British store, and over 100 right shoes from a Cincinnati sneaker shop.
- Vandalism: A New Jersey home was plastered with pepperoni, protected rock formations were toppled by troublemakers in Nevada, the tomb of the Dyatlov Pass hikers was desecrated, environmental activists blasted Stonehenge with orange powder paint, a misguided artist carved remarkably well-crafted faces into public trees in a Canadian community, and a similarly creative individual affixed googly eyes to statues in an Oregon city.