By Tim Binnall
In a bizarre story out of Russia, authorities arrested an intoxicated man who was trying to steal the mummified body of USSR founder Vladimir Lenin. The strange incident reportedly occurred earlier this week when the would-be grave robber climbed over a barrier surrounding the tomb wherein the revered Soviet leader's remains are on public display. His attempts at opening the doors of the mausoleum, which happened to be closed at the time, were quickly thwarted by security guards who swooped in and took him into custody whereupon he revealed his audacious plan.
When asked why he wanted to steal Lenin's body, the man was unable to provide any explanation for the ill-advised caper and was at a loss as to how he had come up with the idea in the first place. To that end, it was soon determined that the man's misadventure had been fueled by proverbial liquid courage as he indicated that the last thing he could recall was drinking with a friend before he came to his senses in police custody. Authorities subsequently remanded him to psychiatric treatment for alcoholism, where one imagines he might be rather sheepish should fellow patients ask him how he wound up there.