By Tim Binnall
A Pennsylvania man was left feeling understandably unsettled when he discovered a rather weird note that had been somehow slipped inside his sealed box of cereal. According to a local media report, the unnerving incident occurred on Monday night as Sugarloaf Township resident Joe Miller set about finishing off his Christmas with a bowl of Lucky Charm's Smores which he had brought the previous day. However, his holiday evening took a decidedly weird turn when went about the normally routine process of opening the factory-sealed box and then the bag of cereal it contained. Pouring the tasty breakfast food into his bowl, Miller did a double take as "out came this paper that was all folded up."
Sounding like someone who had been really looking forward to those Lucky Charms, Miller mused that "I was devastated. I mean I didn't even want to eat the cereal." The contents of the mysterious missive have largely been kept secret though it is said to be "a mash-up of words and references to current events and conspiracy theories." Concerned that the note could have been "laced with anything" and that it was found inside a product aimed at children, Miller dutifully reported his discovery to the FBI as well as a local TV station.
One presumes that the authorities are looking into the missive, which is believed to have been placed inside the box somewhere during the manufacturing process rather than at the store where it was purchased. Chillingly, when the TV station investigated the case, they discovered that similar notes have recently been found in "all types of food products" throughout the region. This would seem to suggest a widespread issue is unfolding in the area and that Miller's spoiled cereal was not simply a case of someone being after his Lucky Charms.