By Tim Binnall
A New Jersey woman was left scratching her head and understandably irritated after her house was vandalized by a prankster who left pieces of pepperoni all over her property. According to a local media report, the very strange incident occurred last week at the home of Heather Dougherty, who resides in the community of Manville. Upon opening her front door on Wednesday morning, she was stunned to discover that she had been visited by a mischief-maker armed with meat. To her chagrin, the troublemaker left what appeared to be pepperoni "from the door to the edge of the porch and then strategically placed down the stairs, to the driveway and four slices on the hood and four slices on the trunk" of her car.
Beyond the act of vandalism itself, Dougherty observed that the meat-based nature of the prank has left her particularly baffled. "Who goes around with two loaves of pepperoni in the middle of the night and cuts it up into slices and throws it on people's property," she wondered to a local TV station. While Dougherty expressed concern that the meat might have damaged the paint on her car, the cold temperatures at this time of year as well as the quick discovery of the vandalism likely prevented such a thing from happening. Meanwhile, an area pizza parlor owner enlisted to identify the meat indicated that it is "certainly, of the family of pepperoni, salami," and, regarding the vandalism, mused that "as an Italian, it hurts the heart."
Since first coming to light late last week, the strange nature of Dougherty's story has led to it going viral and provided the homeowner with an unexpected fifteen minutes of fame. "Just last night, I went out to the store and people recognized me," she marveled to a local news outlet. Reflecting on the surprising amount of attention that the incident has received, Dougherty expressed some appreciation for the absurdity of it all, musing that "even though there was a crime committed, it's bringing humorous news to our town." Meanwhile, the pepperoni prankster remains at large, likely thrilled and perhaps a little nervous that their meaty mischief wound up making national news.