During the opening hour, Art talks about UFOs, and his possession of "Art's Parts," wondering if he may be holding the smoking gun of alien life. He reads a fax in hour two from a person who thinks one of Art's past guests is evil. The person in question was a woman who considers herself a vampire. Art then tries to locate a vampire on the phone lines.

On the Vampire Line, a man reveals he lost his soul but is not concerned. Another caller talks about needing blood from a person at least twice a week. He says there is nothing to fear now. Art asks him if he's evil. The man responds, what's the difference? A woman calls up to discuss how she was once a vampire. She says God doesn’t hold it against you if you don’t know what you’re getting into. She said it was absolute evil, and that it was all about sex. A super nice and oddly delightful "vampire" calls in during the last hour.