By Tim Binnall
Another British community has fallen victim to a serial cat shaver whose sinister handiwork has prompted a rather stern response from police. According to a local media report, the latest case of phantom feline grooming has gripped the village of Pinchbeck and neighboring Kirton, where multiple pet owners say that a mysterious ne'er-do-well has taken to surreptitiously removing small patches of hair from their furry friends. The scuttlebutt surrounding the serial shaver led to authorities issuing a warning to residents and sending a firm message to the clipper-wielding miscreant.
"This behavior is completely unacceptable," said Inspector Matt Dickinson of the South Holland Police Department, "whatever the motivation behind this it is not something that should be taking place." Appealing to the phantom's humanity, if the hooligan has any, he mused that "the cats in question are someone's pet, part of their family" and that being subjected to the cruel clippers is traumatizing to both the animals and their owners. Promising to take "robust action" against the shaver should they be caught, Dickinson declared to the mysterious individual "this is not a bit of fun and needs to stop now."
It remains to be seen whether or not the cop's strong words will deter the phantom from striking again, though one hopes that being on the radar of authorities will scare the shaver into giving their clippers a rest. That said, it is almost certain that the cats of Pinchbeck are not the last unfortunate felines to fall victim to such misbehavior as they were merely the most recent of many similar cases that have cropped up across England, New Zealand, and even the United States over the last few years.