Serial Crossing Button Vandal Leaves Behind Bizarre Message to British Officials

By Tim Binnall

A ne'er-do-well who has repeatedly vandalized the button for a street crossing in a British town recently left behind a bizarre message for local officials after the latest incident. According to a local media report, the weird case began in the community of Tonbridge around two years ago. Town officials say that they have spent thousands of dollars replacing a specific crossing button that has been damaged on multiple occasions by the weirdly focused troublemaker. While the matter has largely been an annoyance to the community, the serial vandalism took something of a sinister turn with the most recent attack wherein the device was smashed to pieces and the perpetrator included a rather creepy calling card to go along with their handiwork.

Crafted using cut-out letters akin to a ransom note, the message was addressed to the city council and declared that "this is the last button. This cost you big time. You now [sic] what you did in 2012." Despite providing something of an unsettling glimpse into the mind of the mysterious miscreant, the peculiar missive has proven to be indecipherable to local officials, who are stumped as to what could have occurred 12 years ago to raise the button vandal's ire. "It's mindless because whoever is doing this, they've obviously got a grudge against somebody," lamented councilor Mark Hood, "but they're taking it out on the community."

"I don't know if this is someone’s fantasy or if there's anything behind it," the irritated official went on to muse, "we've got an email address so if someone's got a problem they can get in touch with us." To that end, Hood called upon the vandal to end their reign of terror for the good of the community, noting that the street crossing targeted by the scallywag is most often used by children and elderly people. At the very least, one hopes that the scoundrel is true to their word and that the most recent incident was "the last button" that will be trashed because of the mysterious slight that set them off so long ago.

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